Monday, July 6, 2015

Step Back in Time

Ok.  So this is going to sound really bizarre.  I even feel a little bizarre thinking it, let alone doing it, but honesty, the more I think about it the more it seems to make sense.

I'm going to step back in time.

Bizarre.  I know!  Ok, so now that is out of the way let me explain.

Lately I have been feeling unsatisfied.  I mean really unsatisfied.  And grumpy.  And moody.  Bored.  And downright pretty horrid to be around.  Hey, just ask my husband.  It's something that has been festering for a little while now and I haven't been able to put my finger on what it is...but then suddenly I realised why I couldn't figure it out.  My head feels stuffed.  My brain feels over taxed.  It's like the world is moving too fast and I sort of want to get off.  Does that make sense?  No?  Ok...I will continue.

Somewhere life has got so complex.  I blame technology mostly.  This crazy need to own everything and be so up to date.  Also the need to rush around like a mad thing all go, go, go...like all the time...and it's exhausting.  The complexities of life with things like technology (and that never ending feeling of having to be 'plugged in' all the time), plus the horrors of the world that are unleashed into our lounge rooms on a constant basis (thank you media) are wearing me down and make this world so unhappy.

For example, the news is so ghastly.  I've really noticed it lately.  Every morning I put on the television (which stupidly there is one in my bedroom) and the morning news program will herald the latest murder to take place.  And I'm not exaggerating.  Lately there has been one EVERY morning.  What is going on?  As well as that sort of stuff...murders aside...there is the whole social media thing.  It seemed to start innocently enough... Facebook was a great way to catch up with old friends, which is why I joined it in the first place......actually I didn't even know what it was for ages and since I was working on a farm didn't get near a computer much so didn't bother joining it for a long time..... but now it's full of ads, bullying and constant nastiness.  Yes, there are lots of funny videos, I do like those...and the cute pictures of puppies and kitties.... but really it's something we could all do without.

So....here's my experiment....I am stepping back in time.
As well as the reasons mentioned above, there are a few other reasons why, but firstly I will refer back to me being a grumpy bum and feeling less then pleased.  Essentially I am a housewife.  Shock horror!  The use of that dated 1950s term.  I could say 'stay at home mum' or 'career mum' or 'working mum'....which is what I am really as I do write and take photos for a magazine....but the majority of the time I am a housewife.  There, I said it again.  But the truth...the truth was it was pissing me off.  Big time.  Cleaning, picking up after four kids, cooking, washing, folding laundry..picking up after the kids AGAIN....etc..etc...etc..... Ok, you get the idea.  Frankly, it is boring and what was happening was that I was resenting my life and spending my time wishing away the time until the next phase of my life...which for me is when we finally own our own farm....finally came along.  But here's the thing.  Here I am wishing away my life and before I know it, it will be gone.  I'm middle aged now, which is slightly terrifying, and before I know it I'll be a little old lady.  With the pace that the world drags us along with all it's technology and Tweets and updating our statuses...it will all be gone before we know it.
 
If I'm not making any sense, here is what I am trying to get at.  I have decided to embrace the housewife tag because that is what I am, and instead of despising it...because really, I can't avoid being one..we have four kids (three of them ages 5 and under)..I have decided to step back to a time when being a housewife was good.  I know, it's sounding weird still, but by thinking that this is what I'm supposed to be doing at this point in time then I know I can be happier and better at it...and subsequently...a lot nicer to be around.  Grumpy bum be gone!
 
I mentioned other reasons which I will briefly touch on.  An important one involves my husband, who I don't like to chat about too much because he doesn't like it, but put simply (and I'm not trying to make it sound like he's a chauvinist, which he by no means is).... I know he would be happier with a 1950s wife.  Arrgghhh..!!  Did I just say that?  Ok, before you all jump up and down and say 'bastard' or whatever...I mean this in a nice way.  I don't mean '1950s housewife' who rushes to the door when hubby gets home, slippers and pipe in hand, lipstick freshly applied...the little woman who gets no say in life and all that rubbish... but more a snippet of a 1950s housewife.  I mean someone who treats their husband with respect, trusts him to make decisions (with your input of course...I mean it is the year 2015), and yes...looks after his kids and household without feeling grumpy about it.  Over the last couple of days I have started this experiment of mine, starting with a change of attitude towards my husband...as well as giving him my trust in making a MAJOR decision which will effect our lives in a big way...and already I have found an incredible change.  And I'm not just eluding to the change in me.  I mean a change in him!  By me being more willing to let him ...shall I say 'wear the pants'... I have felt a lot less stress, a lot more calm, a lot more happy...and he has been lovely towards me!  Now don't get me wrong, this is not some cunning plan to get him to be nice to me, it's simply a shift in attitude that I have realised is key to a happy marriage and stress free life.  Make fun of the 1950s housewife, sure, but somewhere in all that fluffiness a lot of it made sense.
 
So by stepping back to the 1950s...what have I done?  Well, as well as the attitude thing there has been a really fun part.  The fashion!!
There is something about those dresses and the full skirts and the beautiful hair styles and just how glamorous women were back then.  Dressing in the morning was dressing up and clothes were not just stopping you from going out naked but were fun.  Now I'm a jeans girl.  And I mean EVERY day.  It's pretty boring really.  Yesterday and today, however, I wore a skirt.  Yesterday my husband came home, and even though it took him a while to notice, said "why are you wearing a skirt?"  Now normally he doesn't notice what I wear but yesterday he did...and he liked it. 
 
Today I went out wearing a skirt, a button up cardigan, even stockings (!) and I wore my hair down in curls with the front pinned up (it did look quite 1950s...although not those incredible coiled hair styles that they did...I'm terrible at doing hair so haven't mastered that at all yet...) and I even wore makeup INCLUDING lipstick.  I thought I would feel really self conscious but you know...I didn't.  Not once.  Maybe because I've reached an age where I just don't care what people think any more and I don't have the need to 'wear what everyone else is wearing', but honestly...I felt good!  I had to go to the bank and you know the weirdest thing....I had so many men look at me.  Not young guys...honestly, they're not interested in me any more...but men probably late 30s and older...all look at me with appreciation.  I'm not trying to boast here, (and I didn't go out with the intention of attracting attention from the opposite sex) I mean I'm not super good looking or anything, but it was interesting to see that men appreciate women in a skirt and makeup and looking like she has put some effort into her appearance.  I had to sit and wait in the bank for a while, so this was when I copped these looks, but I also took note of the other women that came in the bank and they were all wearing pants or jeans...and one woman even had tracksuit pants on (sweat pants)...which I have never done..wear these out in public (blergh)..and they all looked decidedly frumpy.  Ok, I'm not trying to be mean, but they certainly weren't getting noticed, but the other thing...they didn't look particularly happy.  I put on something a little bit fun and I had a fun day! 
 
On the way home I visited a charity shop, there is a rather large one in town, and there I picked up four items of clothing that look so 1950s it's like they dropped in there via a time machine.  I got two skirts...one so full...exactly like something out of 'Grease', that it looks like it is going to be lovely fun to wear....and two tops that have the right 1950s look.  For a total of $9 I was pretty darn pleased with my purchases.
 
Anyway, I shall continue on with my experiment and keep you posted with how living a more simple...and more glamorous (!)...life goes.  I promise, however, that I shall never look like this....
...while hanging out the washing.  Never.  Not once.  Ok, maybe when I successfully get out a REALLY stubborn stain.  But that's it. 









17 comments:

  1. wonderfully written post. I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes we just need to embrace our life and make most out of it...live a little and live with a style, but doing it our own way...getting away from the media, social networks and being plugged in can not only be delighfully refreshing, it can help us see our own life more clearly.

    I'm looking forward to seeing some of your new housewife inspired outfits;)

    http://modaodaradosti.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thanks Ivana! I was quite hesitant writing this because I wonder at what sort of feedback I will get! I'm glad it's not just me that is needed to take life back a notch or two. I will bring forth the 50s inspired outfits I promise!

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    2. good to hear about the outfit!
      I think today all of us are constantly under pressure to be an achiever in every aspect of our life...I'm not saying that being ambitious or carrer driven is necessarily wrong but sometimes being a good person or a good friend (or a good spouse for that matter) is what counts the most. In life I have found that investing something extra in relationship is always good...it doesn't always have to work out but it teaches us just about everything about ourselves and others.

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  2. Amazing post.. Things are really different now. I wanna go back to those times too.. where there's no social media, pc games and other internet addiction.


    XOXO,

    www.fashionerza.com

    I can rock any outfits, come follow my online diary

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    1. Wouldn't it be lovely to step back in time! Instead of the internet and the pc games we'd have to TALK to each other!!! Shock! Wouldn't it be great! Thanks for reading. x

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  3. Ok. I've got a huge comment coming up. Grab a beverage for this one Amber. (; First off, I find nothing wrong with your title as a house wife. In fact if we could do it financially, you bet I'd be at home right now doing laundry pregnant with baby number two while Penny ran a muck. I've always wanted to be a mom. Even when I was younger I knew it's what I wanted. So embrace that Amber! Say it loud and proud!

    As much as moms rock, I've noticed lots of them get sucked into what I call the "mom realm." You know, that pony tail naked face world that you tell yourself, "well it's Saturday I don't need to do my hair or wear makeup." Suddenly that one Saturday turns into a lifestyle and no matter what anyone says, the feeling of dullness consumes you. I think this is what's got you at the moment. There is something truly amazing about a persons natural beauty. No matter who it is someone has something amazing about themselves. Whether it's their eyes, smile, teeth, jaw (my jaw is flipping awesome btw...hahaha ) we all have that one thing we life. Makeup, though looked down at by sooo many as being some horrendous magic that makes us "lie" to people, is my sanity. Makeup makes me feel wonderful, powerful. I feel like I can't be confident and professional at work and even on the weekends I like to semi doll it up. No matter what anyone says, looks do count on a particular level. You witnessed it in the bank at the women wearing jeans. So if wearing a bit of lip stick and letting your hair down makes you feel alive, do it! Why go through life unnoticed?

    Clothing wise, I totally understand. I only own three pairs of jeans. Mostly because 5 days a week I'm in an office, doing office things. Secondly because I have freaky thin legs and my proportions are so out of whack it's hard to buy a good pair of jeans. I purchase most all of my dresses from resale and opt shops (I think that's what they are called in AU?). I'm certain the most I've ever paid for a dress was $19.99 and the cheapest $2.50. I know it's really hard to get sucked into what society says is "trendy." To look like these amazing fashion bloggers, but we are real women, with real saging body parts and if a cute fit and flare dress gives me the illusion of the stretched out lower belly not being there, then that's what I'm wearing! My point is, wear what feels like you, not what society tells you is "in."

    BTW. the entire time I was reading I was on the brink of tears because I thought you were quitting blogging. Bahaha . I can handle new directions.

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    1. What an awesome reply!! My longest yet here! I was quite touched that you were upset by the possible thought I was quitting blogging. I know I have disappeared a bit, and I owe you an email to explain. I will be in touch. Love what you wrote here. It is so nice to get so much positive feedback. I thought I'd get slammed for trying to 'take women back to the dark ages' (!!)
      Amber x

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  4. I'd love to lead a glamorous 50s housewife lifestyle someday. I can't wait to see pictures of your new clothes! :) x

    http://ditsysprinkles.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Do it today! I'm having fun! It's nice to make an effort, which is so different for me to put effort into myself rather than worrying about everyone else all the time and forgetting about myself. Amber x

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  5. OK We literally must be sharing a brain... I was just thinking the other day about conducting an experiment.. I will explain more about that in a second, but back to what you have written;

    I can relate to what you say, but can't.. I do the housework and cooking, but do not have FOUR KIDS to look after. I can't imagine how you have kept up this long, and I admire you for that!! But you are so right, and it's great you realize that wishing your life away isn't going to solve the problem..

    I love your depiction of a 1950's housewife stereotype (slippers and pipe, ha!!!). When you write that you notice change, it's nice to hear that it's from both you and from Lindsay. I don't mean to sound "pompous" or like I've got it all figured out (because I don't!!! Not even close!!) but Spencer and I have always had this kind of relationship. Equality, but trust. I trust him, he trusts me, and it just works. He takes care of me, I take care of him. It's a concept that freaks my "feminist" friends out. They think I'm submitting all of my "power" to Spencer. Which, I'm giving him some authority, because it's a two-way street. I can still be a "housewife" type without losing my rights... AND if you're with the right man (which Spencer and Lindsay are!!) then they will admire and respect your wishes and ask/allow your input all the same.

    To the men looking at you.. First, WOOOOT #stunner you are! Honestly, I'd probably be looking at you like "shit, this fancy lady has all her ducks in order. I want to be her!!" I have enjoyed the power makeup and dressing well gives me. I honestly feel like I could conquer the world some days. Other days, it's just a nice mental boost, reminding me that I'm WORTH the effort. You, too, are beautiful and TOTALLY worth this effort and attention!!

    I love your comment at the end, LOL no I won't have that face post-laundry either.. !!

    Ok, so now onto my "experimental thoughts" I mentioned at the beginning. I was thinking just last week how less fussy my life was without my cell phone. Unfortunately in 2015 you need your phone or other people LOSE THEIR MINDS trying to get a hold of you. I was thinking of working out an experiment to abstain from ANY use of my phone, other than answering or making a phone call for a week or so. Just to see how that "unplugged" feeling feels... I was also considering abstaining from my computer, too. But that would mean a full week without blogging. I've done it before, I suppose I could do it again. There is always a good "scheduled post"!

    MUCH LOVE!!!!!!!!

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    1. Yes, sometimes I think we are very alike. Watching your vlogs I keep seeing the same sense of humour appearing! You are so right...about not losing what the 'modern' or perhaps feminist woman would call power. I can't change being a mum at home because Lindsay shears full time and someone has to look after the kids. If we put all of them in full time childcare and I worked too then my wage would only just cover the cost of childcare....so no point doing it!! It is a shame it is considered weird to put your trust in your husband or partner to look after you and provide for you because honestly, it's programmed into them. Lindsay loves looking after us and being the one who can make all those tough decisions. I feel so much less stressed if I just leave things up to him (to a degree!) I laughed so hard at the 'ducks in order' comment! Never heard that before. I'm totally going to use it and think of you when I do! x
      Love the sound of your experiment. My smartphone broke last year so I had to go back to just a normal phone and it was WONDERFUL! No checking facebook or any other random thing and it was awesome. You realise then how much time you waste and how it stops you from actually living!!
      Amber x

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  6. What an interesting experiment! I'm glad it is working and making both of you happy! :D

    http://perlasancheza.blogspot.com/

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  7. This post reminds me of my Grandmother's wedding pictures. So awesome!

    xxx, Danielle Faith

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    1. How nice that you have all your Grandmother's wedding photos! Thanks for stopping by Danielle.
      Amber x

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  8. Hiya babe, amazing post girl i loveee ur style of writing, cant wait to see ur newclothes
    more posts like this plsss x
    Thanks for sharing this with us.

    Visit me whenever you can;
    www.its-dominica.blogspot.co.uk

    Follow my blog to enter my first massive international give away, i will randomly
    pick 3-5 followers if you're one of them you can choose up to 3 items,
    1 pair of shoes and 2 make up products.

    Have a lovely week!
    Stay in touch.
    Kisses!

    Dominica S.

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    1. Thanks for reading Dominika, and for letting me know about your giveaway. I will be sure to check it out!
      Amber x

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